I've really been kind of bothered, upset, down in the dumps etc... this holiday season. I really just haven't been able to put my finger on what exactly is or was causing me to feel this way. Normally Christmas is my most favorite time of the year. I love the decorating with tons and tons of lighting and other Christmas paraphernalia, the music, the sweet treats and don't forget the buying, the giving and receiving of gifts!!
This year not so much... It made me moody and resentful, and yes....hateful to those that I love the most. We didn't not string up the lights outside, the only decorations in the house were in the living room and I hardly even participated in that. For the 1st time I told the kids decorate how you want it and let them go... Yes great that they did it, but mom didn't even care if it was done or not.
I was not going to prepare a holiday meal this year, but my sister talked me into it. Normally we make Christmas Pizza (homemade pizza) and I didn't even want to mess with that at all.
I kept telling my husband I wanted something simple... something that was....more than lets just give meaning less junk to each other. *Note* I did end up getting some very thoughtful and useful gifts.
Maybe I'm just starting to realize that Christmas is way over commercialized and why is this the only time of the year when we give to others why not the 4th of July or April 23rd... I just picked a random date to say why not whenever we feel like it.
I don't want this post to only be about Christmas, holiday and giving. it isn't the only time I'm unhappy with things.
Other things I want to change is the amount that we eat out, the amount of "junk" food we eat, and money we spend on things we won't use or will rarely use.
I'm not going to go into specifics... cause well that would be boring and it would make my brain hurt a little. :)
I estimate that some months we spend $4-600 a month eating out & we spend about $3 - 400 a month a the grocery store. Most of which gets thrown out or sits in the cupboards. The $
3 -400 is more than enough money to feed this family all of our meals for the month but we can always come up with a reason to not cook: food wasn't set out to thaw, (classic) there is nothing to eat etc...
I'm not a skinny girl... I've got 50-60 pounds that I need to lose & some of that can be accomplished by eating at home instead out stuffing myself on those calorie laden meals (this is the junk food I was talking about). So i'm stuffing my gut and lightening up my bank account. I should be lightening up my gut and fattening up my bank account. I'd be happier that way.
I am a spender... I spend money when i'm sad, mad, happy and when I am bored. I am just a spender... there is no other way to say it... okay you could say money waster.
I don't have a favorite place, I can spend it in the store, by mail or online. Another thing that doesn't help me is that I love bargains I see a 50% off or even better 75% you can bet i'll be there checking it out. Doesn't matter if I need it or not... its a bargain!! LOL I kill me and our bank account.
I have to keep reminding myself that I have things I need to save money for
- Pay off bills
- Vacation to see family in the states
- A House
- A car for when we return to the states
We buy because we think it will make the other person happy and it does if only for a minute but then its gone and your left with wanting wanting wanting.
I want my life to be about my family and friends. I don't want to hear my kids say they want the latest toy they seen on the tv. I want to relax in my home and know that I don't owe anyone for what i've got. That my children can lose themselves in a good book and use their imagination to pass a sunday afternoon away. That my husband and I can enjoy ourselves in companionable silence or that I will lay my head on his lap while he is watching a movie and I reading a book but we will be together. Thats important.
I want my family to eat healthy. I want them to reach for an apple, orange or a handful of grapes before they reach for that cookie or brownie. I want to sit down to dinner with them every night at the dinner table. Not some of us in the living room and some elsewhere. I also want to teach them to cook so they can learn to about healthy cooking for their future families.
I want them to know that recycling and taking care of our planet is important. I want them to know why we don't use paper plates, napkins and that wearing your jeans more than once before washing them is okay. That the price of your clothing doesn't always mean better quality and it doesn't make you a better person. That cloth diapers and menstrual pads are not only better for the earth but also for your health.
And I also want them to know that your family is always going to be there for you, that friends come and go but that doesn't mean you should be mean or disrespectful to them.
Be kind, help others and give what you can give.
Things I'm going to be working on this year... Call them my resolutions if you will
- Spend more time with the family
- Save money
- Cook more meals at home
- Use a meal plan
- Use the money in the envelope system
- take the plastic out of the wallet
- Teach my children to cook & sew
- Work on my physical fitness at least 3 days a week
- Work on my mental fitness
- Learn some new skills
- Create or do things for others instead of buying
- go through our closets and get rid of things we no longer wear or use
- Spend time doing things with DH alone.... not even with the baby :)
- Work on my bowling score :)
- Spend less time on the internet
It feels good that i can choose to do this rather than being forced to do this.
I'll keep you posted on how all of this works out as we go along.